So next week is the leavee’s 40th birthday. A party was always assumed and it is going ahead this Saturday.
There will be a mix of people who know what’s going on and many who don’t.
On a social awkwardness scale you could compare it to visiting your in-laws for the first time at Christmas.
…When they don’t know yet that they are the new in-laws.
…But they will find out because they’re darling daughter is pregnant.
…And you really have to tell them now because otherwise its unlikely they will lend you the $5000 you need to pay off Nicki the bookie.
Well that’s how I felt about it anyway. Until about 4 days ago.
Then suddenly another perspective switched in and suddenly I could deal with it.
This is quite likely the last time we will ever do something like this together.
This is precisely a moment where I can actually live my stated goal of demolishing this marriage with fidelity. It’s a “walk the talk” moment.
Our friends and family liked our parties. We were known, I think for our parties. There was always plenty of food, vodka, toasts, sometimes some singing and music. So few people do dinner parties nowadays but I grew up with them. People seem to think they’re complicated fraught things and don’t bother with them. But we did.
So it’s a celebration. Maybe along the lines of an Irish wake or a New Orleans funeral. Maybe, but of course it will be a secret wake for most of the people there (our kids for instance).
But it can be celebration not of what has been (how am I going to reconcile this with No Past month…. okay a bit of psychic contortion here but bear with me) but everything that has led up to this point. Where we are right now with these beautiful children, friends, family — it took a lot of hard work to build this. We would have nothing to take a part and no material to use to rebuild something else without all of this.
So cheers, nazdorovye and God Grant Her Many Many Years!
Lets make it a party to remember in the best possible way.